主题：翻译大赛第三期点评〖副贴〗NO25~NO32号作品

二十六号作品---快乐译族

Olylmpic（Olympic） Flame was a symbol of peace in ancient Greece: The war must be immediately halted and the athletes should be friendly sent to the Games wherever the Olympic torch arrived. But since the revival of the modern Olympics by Baron Pierre de Coubertin in 1896,wars and conflicts have never stopped due to many causes such as resource、race、belief、greed. People have desolately suffered from conflicts in their own limitations.(此段后半部分翻译过于疆硬，前面还是不错的)

  The flying of white pegions(pigeons)、the lighting of the cauldron and the shining of the holy 、peaceful and friedly(friendly) light unveil the 29th Olympic Games. This time, the ancient Olympic and the ancient Chinese civilazation(civilization) formally shake hands with each other. Passionate Beijing、China and 1.3 billion people have been and always hugging the Olympic with an ever-greatest fervor and sincerity. We receive the torch, pass it, feel it, and safeguard it. The Chinese civilization which ardently love peace and claim that all things live in harmony will be sure to enrich the Olympic spirit and make the peace implication of the Olympic flame more profound.

  One World, One Dream; live under the same sky, share a common home. At this majestic moment, everyone should rectify his or her heart. After all, to human being, where there is love and peace, there is everything.(这段我比较喜欢，流畅)

点评：此篇译文还是蛮有水准的，不过在用词上再夸张点，衔接紧点就好了。

评分：79分

点评：全文顺畅清晰，注意拼写。

评分：81

二十七号作品---Backtomars

在远古的希腊，奥运圣火就是和平的象征：圣火所到之处必须立即休战，友好地参加运动会。但自1896年顾拜旦复兴现代奥运之后，因为资源、种族、信仰、贪婪，因为种种缘由，战争、冲突一直没有间断。在人类自身的局限里，人们悲凉地感受着冲突带来的苦难。

        In the ancient Greece, the Olympic Flame had been the symbol of peace. Where the Olympic Flame arrived,  there should be the cease-fire and the friendly Olympic（参加的意思呢?）.  However since Pierre Coubertin revived the modern Olympics in 1896, due to the resources, races, belief, greediness and all kinds of aspects, wars and conflicts had been uninterrupted .  Under its own limitation of the human being,  people were sadly suffering the miseries caused by the conflicts. （此段语句连惯，用词也不错，好）　

　白鸽飞起，圣火点燃，圣洁之光普照，和平与友谊之光普照，第二十九届奥林匹克运动会由此拉开序幕。这一次，古老的奥林匹克正式与古老的中华文明握手，盛情北京，盛情中国，盛情的十三亿人民，已经并且始终用最大的热情和诚意拥抱奥林匹克。我们接过这圣火，传递它，感受它，维护它，酷爱和平、主张万物和谐的中华文明必将使奥林匹克精神更加丰厚，必将使奥运圣火的和平寓意更为深远。

        With the wite（white） doves flying up to the sky, and the Olympic Flame being lit, the holy light and the light of peace and friendship shining above(over) the world, (with引导的这句话是断句，要连成句子，就要有主语！) The 29th Olympics is started.  This time, the ancient Olympics officially shakes hands with the ancient Chinese civilization. The hospitable Beijing, the hospitable China and the 1.3 billion hospitable Chinese people has been and will always be ready to embrace Olympics with immense zeal and sincerity. We take the Olympic Flame, pass it, feel it, and guard it. The Chinese civilization which advocate peace and harmony will certainly make the Olympic spirit more rich and will certainly makes the peaceful meaning of the Olympic Flame more profound and long-lasting.（此段用词感觉稍逊色了点，译的有些太过牵强）

　　同一个世界，同一个梦想；同在一片蓝天下，拥有一个共同的家园。在这庄严时刻，每个人都应自正其心。毕竟，对于人类，有爱才有一切，有和平才有一切。

        One world, one dream. Under the same blue sky, we hold the same homeland. At this solemn moment, everyone should be fair. After all, for the mankind, everything can't be possible unless with love and peace.

点评：中间段落稍加变通，可畏是一篇好作品。

评分：81分

点评：注意拼写，注意结构，全文还是比较通顺的。

评分：78

点评：作者的功底可见非凡 ，语句相当干练。

评分：82分

二十九号作品---米歇尔michelle

In ancient Greek（这里应该用名词Greece）, Olympic Torch is a symbol of peace .Wherever Olympic Torch arrives（这里用现在完成时比较好arrived）,people must stop fighting and join the Games peacefully. But since the renaissance of modern Olympic Games by Coubertin in 1986,wars and conflicts have never been stopped because of the problems of recourses, races, belief, greed, etc.Human beings were suffering from wars and conflicts for the limitation of themselves. （时态一致问题）

The birds of peace are getting off the ground(象征和平的鸽子，这里成了象征和平的鸟了，虽然意思接近但不完美), the saint（saint多指人用sacred or holy好些） torch is been lighting up, the holy light, and the light of peace and friendship is shining over the earth, where we lift the curtain of the 29th Olympic Games. On this occasion, the ancient Olympics shakes hand with the ancient Chinese civilization. Ebullient Beijing, ebullient China and 1.3 billion ebullient people have welcomed the Olympics and they will always embrace the Olympics with the greatest enthusiasm and sincerity. We take this holy flame, pass it, feel it and maintain it. Our Chinese civilization which protests worldwide peace and harmony will certainly give the Olympic spirit more meanings and make the peaceful moral of the Olympic flame spread further.（最后一句我没弄明白，这句用意有点矛盾。）

One world, one dream.Under the same blue sky,we have a common homeland. At this solemn moment, everyone should be be guiede(guide) by his heart. After all, for human beings, when we getlove, we get everything and when we get peace, we get all.

点评：在用词方面还需下功夫，有些句子还是翻译的不错的。

评分：73分

点评：请注意时态一致，句子结构比较顺畅。

点评：75

三十号作品---了安

In ancient Greek（这里应该用名词Greece）, the  Olympic flame is the symbol of peace.wherever the Olympic flame arrived,people(这个people省略好点，在这里觉得有点不顺) there should stop the war and attend the game freindly.The modern Olympic Games was （被动）evived by Coubertin,but after then,for the sake of（如果用for the sake of 就请解释后面各项名词，for the sake of resource dispute,racial discrimination..） resource,race,faith（用belief贴切些）,greed and so many other reasons, wars , conflicts have never suspended. Owe to(归功于??) the limitation of man himself,people experienced the sufferings generated by conflics（conflicts） pathetically.  

Releasing the pigeons, igniting the Olympic flame,holy light shines,the peace and friendship light shines,all these opened the 29th olympic game.This time,it's a formal handshake between the ancient Game and the ancient Chinese civilization ,zealous BeiJing,zealous china,zealous 1.3 billion people have been and always embraced the olympic with their greatest enthusiasm and sincerity. We accept the olympic(Olympic要大写，前、后面的等同) flame, pass it,feel it, protect it.The chinese（Chinese没大写太可惜了）civilization which loves peace dearly, which matains（maintains） all things harmonious will inevitably make the olympic spirits more abounding and the peace implication
of the olympic flame more profound.

One world,one dream,we live under the same blue sky, hold our common home.During this solemn time,everyone should put their hearts in the right place. After all, for human ,for there to be everything there must be love and peace.

点评：在句子组织结构上不是太理想，语法再加强点，你会很棒的。

评分：75分

点评：对原文把握不是很正确。注意大小写，注意取词，注意句子结构。

评分：74

三十一号作品---英206

In ancient Greece, the Olympic Flame stood for peace: Once it comes, people should make peace with each other , attend the game friendly. Unfortunately, after the modern Olympic revived by Pierre de Coubertin in 1896, wars and conflices（似乎没有这个词吧应该是conflicts）never stoped(前面是元音P要双写stopped) by the reason of resource, race, belief, greed and the like. People suffered from the tribulation which brought by conflict in their own restriction.

Pigeons fly, torch has been lit(此句没表达出情感). The 29th Olympic Games will begin arounding（around是个副词好像没有ing形式吧）with the light of sanctity as well as the light of peace and friendly. This time, the ancient Olympic will meet the old Chinese civilization（用词不是太好）. Hospitable Beijing, hospitable China and hospitable people of 1.3 billion Has （这里不用大写）been and always with the greatest enthusiasm and sincerity to hold the Olympics. We relay the torch, passing it, feeling it, vindicating it. Chinese civilization who loves peace deeply and advocates for nature harmony will surely make the Olympic spirit richer, and make the peace implication of the Olympic flame further.

One World, One Dream. We own one world under the same sky. At this solemn moment, each one of us should adjust his heart. After all, for human beings, there’s nothing without love or peace.

点评：作品没有完全表达出译文的含义，不过用句方面还是不错的。

评分：72分

点评：句子机构没大问题，但是取词需要注意，大小写要注意。

评分：74

三十二号作品--- 94380140

点评：在用词与长句方面需加强，没能完全体现原文。

评分：73分

点评：对原文把握不是很正确，句子结构不清晰。

评分：73