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主题：（参考译文）【C-E 翻译之星】郭沫若《路畔的蔷薇》

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路畔的蔷薇
郭沫若

　　清晨往松林里去散步，我在林荫路畔发现了一束被人遗弃了的蔷薇。
　　蔷薇的花色还是鲜艳的，一朵紫红，一朵嫩红，一杂是病黄的象牙色中带着几分血晕。
　　我把蔷薇拾在手里了。
　　青翠的叶上已经凝集着细密的露珠，这显然是昨夜被人遗弃了的。
　　这是可怜的少女受了薄幸的男子的欺绐？还是不幸的青年受了轻狂的妇人的玩弄呢？昨晚上甜蜜的私语，今朝的冷清的露珠……
　　我把蔷薇拿到家里来了，我想找个花瓶来供养她。
　　花瓶我没有，我在一只墙角上寻着了一个断了颈子的盛酒的土瓶。
　　——蔷薇哟，我虽然不能供养你以春酒，但我要供养你以清洁流泉，清洁的素心。你在这破土瓶中虽然不免要凄凄寂寂地飘零，但比遗弃在路旁被人践踏了的好罢？

Wayside Roses

张培基译

　　Rambling through a pine forest early in the morning, I came across a bunch of forsaken roses lying by the shady wayside.

　　They were still fresh in colour. One was purplish-red, another pink, still another a sickly ivory-yellow slightly tinged with blood-red.

　　I picked them up in my hand.

　　The numerous fine dewdrops on the fresh green leaves clearly showed that the roses had just been cast away the previous night.

　　Were they pitiful maidens deflowered by fickle men? Or were they unlucky young men fooled by frivolous women? Last night's whispers of love; this morning's drops of dew……

　　I brought the roses home and tried to find a flower vase to keep them in.

　　Flower vase I had none, but I did find in a nook of my room an empty earthen wine bottle with its neck broken.

　　O dear roses, though unable to treat you to spring wine, I could offer you limpid spring water and my sincere heart. Wouldn't it be better for you to wither away in solitude in this broken earthen wine bottle than to lie abandoned by the roadside and be trodden down upon?

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心生双翼，宁静致远。岁月静好，你我同歌。

楼主 Date: 2009-06-03 16:27:30

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引用blackout于2009-06-03 16:55发表的文章:
是不一样啊，真的很棒。

从中学到很多词语。

没错，张先生是国内数一数二的散文翻译大师。

Date: 2009-06-03 16:59:39

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引用christinaseeing于2009-06-03 17:25发表的文章:
请教一个问题, 病黄 sickly ivory-yellow
病黄是中文习惯,英文也是这样吗,我记得一个电影里字幕是你脸色很差, you're orange, 如果 sickly ivory-yellow 不符合英文习惯,为了贴和原作, 也要加上sickly?

sickly 在英文里经常用来修饰颜色的这并没有不符合英文习惯

Date: 2009-06-03 17:27:43

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引用purplecold于2009-06-03 20:19发表的文章:
受教了!谢谢分享.

不客气

Date: 2009-06-03 22:00:36

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引用Alexcwlin于2009-06-04 00:21发表的文章:
What? Did I only get 15 ICIBA points for talking all those nonsense? I can do better than that spending all that time babysitting some bratty kids in Toronto.
To get back at 溟生, I’m going to trash his idol’s translation a bit (Haha, Alex is a sore lo...

First question, first answered. The explaination of 散步 in Xinhua Chinese Dictonary is 随意闲行. Since it is "随意", "散步" definitely bears the implication of being aimless. Thus, it is by no means unappropriate to render “散步”into "rambling".
最后由溟生于 2009-06-04 01:08:13编辑

Date: 2009-06-04 00:41:23

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2. Compared with Weterners, Chinese people are inclined to be more reserved, which is reflected in their writing as the implicit or indirect expression of taboos in Chinese culture, such as anything related to sex. In this sense, "deflower" is just used to make the undermeaning crystal clear.
最后由溟生于 2009-06-04 01:08:40编辑

Date: 2009-06-04 00:49:38

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3. As a matter of fact, I've run across quite a few fragmental sentences in the classic English writings.
And these fragments, as u or rigid grammarians call it "bad grammer", faithfully reproduce the artistic effect of the source text, which is also a fragment, in terms of both form and meaning.
最后由溟生于 2009-06-04 01:09:09编辑

Date: 2009-06-04 01:00:21

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引用紫去东来于2009-06-04 00:57发表的文章:

Yes, I can keep going (继续下去), but I think it’s enough (足够) to irritate (激怒) 溟生 so much so (到那一个程度) he is going to ban (禁止) me from this forum (论坛) for good (永远).

B...

Absolutely. As the famous saying goes, "I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it." Surely, the prerequisite is that what u say does no harm to other Iciba friends or the learning environment.

Date: 2009-06-04 01:07:14

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引用Alexcwlin于2009-06-04 04:18发表的文章:
引用溟生于2009-06-04 01:15发表的文章:

I don't think I did anything wrong which deserves ur "getting back at me".
How unreasonable it is!

溟生: Where's your sense of humor?

Don't you think it's a more interesting way to introduce my points than to say: "Well, I think it should be this way." Alex

最后由 Alexcw...

Then, where is ur sense of humor,Alex?
Can't u tell I'm actually not mad but kidding?

Date: 2009-06-04 09:31:34

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引用Alexcwlin于2009-06-04 02:43发表的文章:
I rest my case, guys.

The English dictionary definition of "ramble" is: "to go for a walk for pleasure, usually in the countryside and sometimes without a fixed route in mind." http://encarta.msn.com/dictionary_/ramble.html

Pay attention to the reference of "...

Pay attention to the source text "往松林里去散步”and “在林荫道旁”which clarifies the context that the author is already in the coverage of the pine forest, except that he hasn't come to the depth or the center of the forest.
Also, pay attention to the target text "rambling through". According to online Oxford Dic, "through" means "from one end or side of sth/sb to the other" . Thus, "ramble through" fits the source text exactly.http://www.oup.com/oald-bin/web_getald7index1a.pl

Date: 2009-06-04 09:47:17

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引用Alexcwlin于2009-06-04 04:06发表的文章:

Thanks for bringing this argument to our attention.

Boys and girls, next time your teachers/professors take marks off you for writing bad grammar, you can say those are artistic expressions and 溟生 in ICIBA says it’s OK.

Granted, there are many fragmented sentences out...

As u've mentioned it is a rare case in English classics, it is also a rare case for Mr Zhang's translation. Reading through the text, u can find no other fragments but this one. Therefore, it is by no means unrespect for grammar rules or discourging students from learning grammar.

Date: 2009-06-04 09:54:18

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ram•ble
[+adv. / prep.] (especially BrE) to walk for pleasure, especially in the countryside: We spent the summer rambling in Ireland.

Date: 2009-06-04 11:34:32

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引用沅芷澧兰于2009-06-04 12:00发表的文章:
And that was all because of 溟生's remark that 张先生是国内数一数二的散文翻译大师~~ If the interpreter were someone of less fame, I bet nobody would be bothered to pick holes in the translation. LOL...
On the other hand, it's the right learning attitude to challenge the authorities.
I'll not be involved in the debate for the time being, though, I'll continue to be...

I'm just telling the truth that he is universally acknowledged as the master of C-E translation of modern Chinese essays in China, which,surely, does not necessarily mean that his translation is perfect in each and every aspect. My point is that we can learn a great deal from his translation, challenging him also inclued.

Date: 2009-06-04 13:08:54

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引用Mecy于2009-06-05 09:02发表的文章:
"The roses had just been cast away the previous night." I don't think your professor will approve your usage. He/she might change it into past tense instead.

that's ture. 老师教过不能加过去时间在完成时态里``````````````````````

U should neither blindly follow whatever ur teacher instructed nor misinterpret ur teacher's instructions . Instead, u should learn English grammar in a thorough manner and gain an indepth understanding of the what exactly the past present tense is and how this very tense is used.

Date: 2009-06-05 23:18:52

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引用Mecy于2009-06-05 08:25发表的文章:

这个第三点可以帮我翻译成中文的吗? 不是很理解```````````

3. As a matter of fact, I've run across quite a few fragmental sentences in the classic English writings.
And these fragments, as u or rigid grammarians call it "bad grammer", faithfully reproduce the artistic effect of the source text, which is also a fragment, in terms of both form and meaning.
中文译文：事实上，我就在一些英文经典著作中遇到很多不完整的句子。而这些破碎句，也就是你以及严格的语法学家会指责为“语法拙劣”的破碎句，无论是在形式还是语义上都忠实地传达了原文的艺术效果，因为原文本来就是一个片断句。

Date: 2009-06-05 23:31:53

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引用Alexcwlin于2009-06-06 00:42发表的文章:
溟生: Absolutely, go ahead if you can find one.

But in the meantime, let's see how our little experiment fares purely on the basis of English writing skill and not translation, for the sake of everybody, OK?

Don't worry. I will remain a faceless nameless digital character on ICIBA if the opinion leans to my favor. I...

Buddy, relax! U go far too seriously. We r not in a life-and-death duel but in an academic discussion.

Date: 2009-06-06 01:15:03

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引用Alexcwlin于2009-06-06 00:42发表的文章:
溟生: Absolutely, go ahead if you can find one.

But in the meantime, let's see how our little experiment fares purely on the basis of English writing skill and not translation, for the sake of everybody, OK?

Don't worry. I will remain a faceless nameless digital character on ICIBA if the opinion leans to my favor. I...

Buddy, relax! U go far too seriously. We r not in a life-and-death duel but in an academic discussion.

Date: 2009-06-06 01:16:29

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引用Mecy于2009-06-06 14:03发表的文章:
VERY 在这是做强调么?

恩有轻度强调的意味吧

Date: 2009-06-07 10:29:42

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引用Mecy于2009-06-06 14:04发表的文章:

```````````` 有些懂了````````````````

呵呵查下字典自己学习一些新单词更好懂

Date: 2009-06-07 10:31:52