主题：翻译大赛第一期点评〖副贴〗【27-38】（点评者：cultureshock）

二十九号作品：大糊涂仙

什么是奥林匹克精神的内涵？它成为全人类的文化盛会和文明遗产，它的丰富内涵和它对于人类生活的重要性正在与日俱增。

What is the meaning of the Olympic spirit? It became（时态） the cultural event（这个词侧重于正式的事件与文中要表达的盛会有些不符，建议用pageant）and civilization heritage of all mankind. Its rich connotations and its importance for human life is（？）increasing day by day.

奥林匹克是一种生活态度。奥林匹克精神强调人通过自我锻炼、自我参与而拥有健康的体魄、乐观的精神和对美好生活的热爱与追求。

The Olympic is a sort of life attitude. The Olympic spirit stresses that the human have a healthy body,optimistic attitude, and the passion and pursuit to the wonderful life through self-exercises and self-participation.

奥林匹克是一种和谐，自由，健康，积极的现代伦理。奥林匹克主义所要建立的生活方式是以奋斗中体验到的乐趣、优秀榜样的教育价值和对一般伦理的基本推崇为基础的。

Olympic(这个没用定冠词呢？最好一致) is a kind of harmony, freedom, health, positive modern ethics. The Olympic want to builted a life style is experience（动词形式） the fun In（小写） the struggle, educational value of excellent example and general ethics cannonizing basic ethnics.（截取）

奥林匹克运动是一种人类文明的共同遗产。热烈兴奋的比赛、青年志愿者的培训、体育场馆的兴建、城市规划的构思、精彩纷呈的艺术表演、覆盖全球的赛事转播与收看都成为宝贵的奥运遗产。　

The Olympic Games（运动建议用movement） is a common heritage of the human′s civilization. The warmly excited competition, The(小写) training of young volunteers, The construction of sports facilities, The idea of city planning, The brilliant（最好有精彩的体现） performances, Global（小写） coverage of the race broadcast and receive, All of these will becomevaluable Olympic heritages.（现在完成时较好）

今天，奥林匹克已经成为全人类的一种共同的愿望、一种共同的期待，一种共同的祝愿。它随着时间的流逝而不断丰富，不断增添新的内涵，成为人类不断创新、不断增长的宝贵精神文化遗产

  Today, Olympic has always become a common human's（本身就是形容词） aspirations, expectation and wishes. It will be enriched with the passage of time, and it will be a valuable cultural heritageduring the human′s innovative.（远离了文章的意思）

点评：原文没有抓住好，用词上还需斟酌。

评分：72分

三十号作品：jasminexj

什么是奥林匹克精神的内涵？它成为全人类的文化盛会和文明遗产，它的丰富内涵和它对于人类生活的重要性正在与日俱增。

What's the connotation of (the) Olympic spirit? It is the cultural pageant and civilization heritage of all human beings.(成为没有体现) its rich connotation and its importance to human life is increasing day by day.

奥林匹克是一种生活态度。奥林匹克精神强调人通过自我锻炼、自我参与而拥有健康的体魄、乐观的精神和对美好生活的热爱与追求。

Olympic is one（a） kind of attitude towards life. Olympic spirit emphasizes that according to self-training and self-participation, human can acquire health, optimistic mood, and loving as well as pursuiting（？） towards the wonderfull（？） life.（好句子，句子分析清晰）

奥林匹克是一种和谐，自由，健康，积极的现代伦理。奥林匹克主义所要建立的生活方式是以奋斗中体验到的乐趣、优秀榜样的教育价值和对一般伦理的基本推崇为基础的。

Olympic is one kind of（作者喜欢one?表达一种最好用 a kind of ） modern ethics which includes harmony, freedom, health and positive.（句子结构清晰）What（好词） Olympic wants to establish is the certain life style which is based on the fun from striving, education value of excellent example and general respection（？） of those basic ethics.（句子结构清晰）

奥林匹克运动是一种人类文明的共同遗产。热烈兴奋的比赛、青年志愿者的培训、体育场馆的兴建、城市规划的构思、精彩纷呈的艺术表演、覆盖全球的赛事转播与收看都成为宝贵的奥运遗产。　

Olympic sport is the common civilization heritage of all human beings. Warmly excited competition, training of young volunteers, the construction of stadiums, urban planning ideas, wonderful artistic performances and the broadcasting and wathing（可惜了拼写错误，要不就完美了） of globle coverage of the race all become the cherish Olympic heritage. （cherish更珍贵^_^）

今天，奥林匹克已经成为全人类的一种共同的愿望、一种共同的期待，一种共同的祝愿。它随着时间的流逝而不断丰富，不断增添新的内涵，成为人类不断创新、不断增长的宝贵精神文化遗产

Today, Olympic has been a common aspiration, a common exception and a common wish of all human beings. As goes by, it increasingly enriches new connotation and constantly innotate and grow. Thus, it becomes the valuable spiritual cultural heritage of human beings.（很完美，清晰，流畅。喜欢这个作品）

点评：注意拼写与长句的表达。

评分：84分

三十一号作品：alicewhr1981

什么是奥林匹克精神的内涵？它成为全人类的文化盛会和文明遗产，它的丰富内涵和它对于人类生活的重要性正在与日俱增。

What’s the connotation of Olympic Game’s spirit? It is become（语法错误）the culture pageant and civilization inheritance（全人类的没有体现）， and the abundant（内涵没体现） spirit importance is increasing for the human life day by day.
奥林匹克是一种生活态度。奥林匹克精神强调人通过自我锻炼、自我参与而拥有健康的体魄、乐观的精神和对美好生活的热爱与追求。

Olympic Game is a life style.（方式和态度意思不同，建议用attitude） Its spirit emphasizes to own healthy body, optimistic spirit and devote for（devote to） the beautiful life though exercising and participating in.(自我锻炼参与)奥林匹克是一种和谐，自由，健康，积极的现代伦理。奥林匹克主义所要建立的生活方式是以奋斗中体验到的乐趣、优秀榜样的教育价值和对一般伦理的基本推崇为基础的。

Olympic Game is the modern ethic of harmony, freedom, healthy(如果并列词性要一致) and activity. It would build a life style on basis of happiness though（？？through）struggle, education value in excellent sample, and the basis canonize on general ethic. (以。。为基础已经有了不需要重复)奥林匹克运动是一种人类文明的共同遗产。热烈兴奋的比赛、青年志愿者的培训、体育场馆的兴建、城市规划的构思、精彩纷呈的艺术表演、覆盖全球的赛事转播与收看都成为宝贵的奥运遗产。　

Olympic Game is a common inheritance for the human civilization. The invaluablener inheritance（呵呵这个好，清晰） includes hot and excited competition, training for volunteers, building for the gymnasium, conceiving of the city, splendid of art performing, and rebroadcasting and watching by people covered globe.（转播的定语赛事没体现）今天，奥林匹克已经成为全人类的一种共同的愿望、一种共同的期待，一种共同的祝愿。它随着时间的流逝而不断丰富，不断增添新的内涵，成为人类不断创新、不断增长的宝贵精神文化遗产

Now, Olympic game is a common desirability, a common expectation, a same wish for（of） all the humanity. And the Olympic Game will be a continuous and increase(并列词性一致)a spirit and material inherence as enrichment, and increasing the new intension by the time.（和谁并列）

点评：有一定的功底，但在长句的表达与选词上还是不够的。

评分：76分

三十二号作品：蘅芜月友

什么是奥林匹克精神的内涵？它成为全人类的文化盛会和文明遗产，它的丰富内涵和它对于人类生活的重要性正在与日俱增。

What's the ture spirit（奥运精神ture累赘） connotation of the Olympic Games?It has develped（单词拼写错误） into a human culture pageant and heritance of civilization and it's abundant meanings increases day by day  along with the significance it means to human's daily life.（繁琐）

奥林匹克是一种生活态度。奥林匹克精神强调人通过自我锻炼、自我参与而拥有健康的体魄、乐观的精神和对美好生活的热爱与追求。

Olympic is an attitude toward life,which emphasizes that people should own a healthy body,a optimistic spirit and the passion and pursuit to a better life through self-training, participation.（好句子）

奥林匹克是一种和谐，自由，健康，积极的现代伦理。奥林匹克主义所要建立的生活方式是以奋斗中体验到的乐趣、优秀榜样的教育价值和对一般伦理的基本推崇为基础的。

Olympic spirit is also a kind of harmony,freedom,health and positive modern ethic.It leads us to develop（引导我们去建立） a lifestyle bases on struggling to experience enjoyment, the educational value of excellent examples and the respect of general ethics.（大家研究一下）

奥林匹克运动是一种人类文明的共同遗产。热烈兴奋的比赛、青年志愿者的培训、体育场馆的兴建、城市规划的构思、精彩纷呈的艺术表演、覆盖全球的赛事转播与收看都成为宝贵的奥运遗产。　
Olympic is a kind of heritage which is owned by all humanity.
Fierce and exciting competitions, the training for young volunteers, the construction of stadiums, designs for city planing,brilliant atr（拼写错误） performances and the golbal（？） covered race broadcast and watching all contribute to a valuable part of Olympic heritage.（有独到的理解的翻译文章）

今天，奥林匹克已经成为全人类的一种共同的愿望、一种共同的期待，一种共同的祝愿。它随着时间的流逝而不断丰富，不断增添新的内涵，成为人类不断创新、不断增长的宝贵精神文化遗产
Nowadays, Olympic has become to a common dream, a common expectation, a common wish of all human. Along with time, it will enrich itself; keep adding new connotation and turn to be the endless innovation and increasing spirit heritage of all human.（个人认为很不错）

点评：整体语句顺畅，长句翻译的不错用词方面待提高，继续努力。

评分：83分

三十三号作品：syviay

什么是奥林匹克精神的内涵？它成为全人类的文化盛会和文明遗产，它的丰富内涵和它对于人类生活的重要性正在与日俱增。

What is the meaning of the Olympic spirit ?it become the cultural event（盛会建议用pageant） of all mankind and civilization heritage, its rich content and its importance for human life is increasing.(与日俱增呢)

奥林匹克是一种生活态度。奥林匹克精神强调人通过自我锻炼、自我参与而拥有健康的体魄、乐观的精神和对美好生活的热爱与追求。

   Olympic is an attitude toward life. Stressed（主动分词） that the Olympic spirit through self-training, participation and（不是并列关系） self-possession in good health, optimism and spirit （？）of a better life for the love and pursuit.

奥林匹克是一种和谐，自由，健康，积极的现代伦理。奥林匹克主义所要建立的生活方式是以奋斗中体验到的乐趣、优秀榜样的教育价值和对一般伦理的基本推崇为基础的。

  Olympic is a kind of harmony, freedom, health, positive modern ethics. Olympic and（放此何意？） want to establish a way of life in the struggle to experience the fun, the educational value of good example and the general respected the basic ethics-based. （建立的生活方式是以。。。为基础）

奥林匹克运动是一种人类文明的共同遗产。热烈兴奋的比赛、青年志愿者的培训、体育场馆的兴建、城市规划的构思、精彩纷呈的艺术表演、覆盖全球的赛事转播与收看都成为宝贵的奥运遗产。
   The Olympic movement is a common heritage of human civilization. Warmly exciting competitions, the training of young volunteers, the construction of stadiums, urban planning ideas, brilliant artistic performances, global coverage of the race broadcast and watch have become valuable Olympic heritage. （抄袭可能）

今天，奥林匹克已经成为全人类的一种共同的愿望、一种共同的期待，一种共同的祝愿。它随着时间的流逝而不断丰富，不断增添新的内涵，成为人类不断创新、不断增长的宝贵精神文化遗产

   Today, the Olympic all of humanity has become a common aspiration, a common expectations, a common wish. It With（小写） the passage of time has been continuously enriched and constantly add new content, as human beings continue to innovate and grow the valuable spiritual heritage.（中式英语）

点评：这篇太乱了！~-  -！~我感觉，太过疆硬。

评分：71分

三十四号作品：hongkingshare

什么是奥林匹克精神的内涵？它成为全人类的文化盛会和文明遗产，它的丰富内涵和它对于人类生活的重要性正在与日俱增。

What’s the connotation of the Olympic spirit ? It has become the culture pageant and civilization heritage of the people all over the world, and it has increased day by day according to the luxuriant connotation of the Olympic as well as its importance to our life.

奥林匹克是一种生活态度。奥林匹克精神强调人通过自我锻炼、自我参与而拥有健康的体魄、乐观的精神和对美好生活的热爱与追求。

The Olympic is a kind of attitude what we have towards our life（文中没有体现，累赘）. What’s the point of the Olympic spirit is that the games can not only make us healthy, optimistic but also have the love for the happy life and （主语呢和谁并列）seek for it through exercising and participating in the games willingly .

奥林匹克是一种和谐，自由，健康，积极的现代伦理。奥林匹克主义所要建立的生活方式是以奋斗中体验到的乐趣、优秀榜样的教育价值和对一般伦理的基本推崇为基础的。

　　The Olympic is a kind of modern ethic which refers to the harmony,health,freedom and positiveness（positive） . The life style that the Olympic wants to create lays a foundation on the excitement from the competing（奋斗）, inspiring from the honorable heros on the playing field （想法独特，但没有体现教育价值）and canonizing to the general morality.(句子结构新颖)

奥林匹克运动是一种人类文明的共同遗产。热烈兴奋的比赛、青年志愿者的培训、体育场馆的兴建、城市规划的构思、精彩纷呈的艺术表演、覆盖全球的赛事转播与收看都成为宝贵的奥运遗产。

The Olympic Games is a civilization heritage of the people all over the world which we call the Olympic heritage （累赘且语法上问题）， such as the exciting competing, the training for the volunteers, constructing for the sports buiding（？）, the ideas of the city programming , splendid art performing along with the competition broadcasting and watching around the world .（想法独特）

今天，奥林匹克已经成为全人类的一种共同的愿望、一种共同的期待，一种共同的祝愿。它随着时间的流逝而不断丰富，不断增添新的内涵，成为人类不断创新、不断增长的宝贵精神文化遗产

Nowadays, the Olympic has become the collective wishes of all the people,（human为好） the collective expecting of all the people and the collective praying of all the people. The Olympic Games is developing（丰富没体现） as the time passes by , and its connotation is more and more luxuriant. Above all, it has become our cherish culture heritage which is growing and need us to innovate continuously.（好像奥运征文！）

点评：用词与组句上有小小错误，长句没有把握好时态。

评分：74分

三十五号作品：hrb_zhang

什么是奥林匹克精神的内涵？它成为全人类的文化盛会和文明遗产，它的丰富内涵和它对于人类生活的重要性正在与日俱增。

What is the meaning of Olympic spirit?It turns to be a party（聚会，最好用pageant） of culture and heritage of civilization for human.Its rich content(最好用connotaiont) and importance to people’s lives(life) is increasing.(与日俱增没体现)

奥林匹克是一种生活态度。奥林匹克精神强调人通过自我锻炼、自我参与而拥有健康的体魄、乐观的精神和对美好生活的热爱与追求。

　　Olympic is a kind of attitude toward life.What Olympic spirit emphasizes is that everyone can be healthy,（拥有更好些）optimistic,and full of love and aspiration for good life by self-training and self-parication.

奥林匹克是一种和谐，自由，健康，积极的现代伦理。奥林匹克主义所要建立的生活方式是以奋斗中体验到的乐趣、优秀榜样的教育价值和对一般伦理的基本推崇为基础的。

　　Olympic is a kind of modern ethic which is harmonious, free,healthy and positive.（累赘） Pattern of life established by Olympism is based on the  pleasure from struggle,educational value from excellent model and attaching weight to generic ethic.（好句子）

奥林匹克运动是一种人类文明的共同遗产。热烈兴奋的比赛、青年志愿者的培训、体育场馆的兴建、城市规划的构思、精彩纷呈的艺术表演、覆盖全球的赛事转播与收看都成为宝贵的奥运遗产。

     Olympic movement is a kind of common civilization heritage for human.,Many things can be seen as precious Olympic heritage,including atmosphere of excent（热烈兴奋没体现） games,training of young volunteers,constructing of gymnasiums,conception of city planning, wonderful artistic performance and game broadcasting all over the world.（有抄袭嫌疑，）

今天，奥林匹克已经成为全人类的一种共同的愿望、一种共同的期待，一种共同的祝愿。它随着时间的流逝而不断丰富，不断增添新的内涵，成为人类不断创新、不断增长的宝贵精神文化遗产

     Today,Olympic has become a common desire,a common hope and a common wish for all human.Following the time passing,（简洁一些更符合翻译要求）content（内涵更好） of Olympic is enriching and updating,and finally become a valuable spiritual and cultural heritage which is innovating and increasing forever.

点评：有抄袭前面的作品，不做过多点评。

评分：70分

三十六号作品：花花蛇

什么是奥林匹克精神的内涵？它成为全人类的文化盛会和文明遗产，它的丰富内涵和它对于人类生活的重要性正在与日俱增。

What is the content of the Olympic spirit ?（content不能表达出原文的含义） It has become the cultural gathering（pageant is better） and civilization heritage of all mankind and its rich content and its importance for human life is increasing. (与日俱增没体现)

奥林匹克是一种生活态度。奥林匹克精神强调人通过自我锻炼、自我参与而拥有健康的体魄、乐观的精神和对美好生活的热爱与追求。

    Olympic is an attitude toward life. Olympic spirit stresses that good health, optimism and the love and purit（？？）for a better life comes fome self-training and active participation .

奥林匹克是一种和谐，自由，健康，积极的现代伦理。奥林匹克主义所要建立的生活方式是以奋斗中体验到的乐趣、优秀榜样的教育价值和对一般伦理的基本推崇为基础的。

     Olympic is a kind of modern ethics with harmony, freedom, health and positivity. Olympism seeks to create a way of life based on the joy of effort, the educational value of good example and respect for universal fundamental ethical principles.（独到见解）

奥林匹克运动是一种人类文明的共同遗产。热烈兴奋的比赛、青年志愿者的培训、体育场馆的兴建、城市规划的构思、精彩纷呈的艺术表演、覆盖全球的赛事转播与收看都成为宝贵的奥运遗产。

     The Olympics is the common heritage of human civilization. The warm competition, the training of young volunteers, the construction of stadiums, the urban planning concept, the spectacular artistic performances, and the race broadcast and reception covering the whole country have become valuable heritage of the Olympic Games.

今天，奥林匹克已经成为全人类的一种共同的愿望、一种共同的期待，一种共同的祝愿。它随着时间的流逝而不断丰富，不断增添新的内涵，成为人类不断创新、不断增长的宝贵精神文化遗产

    Today, the Olympics has become a common desire, a common expectations, and a common wish of mankind. With the passage of time, it has been constantly expanding and increasing new connotation , as continuously creative and growing valuable spiritual heritage of mankind.

点评：没有很好的抓住原文，用词方面还需加强。

评分：74分

三十七号作品：xiwangzhixing

什么是奥林匹克精神的内涵？它成为全人类的文化盛会和文明遗产，它的丰富内涵和它对于人类生活的重要性正在与日俱增。

What is the connotation of Olympic Spirit? It has become the cultural event（pageant更能体现盛会） and civilization heritage of all mankind（这个词还是比较新鲜）, its rich content and its importance of human life is increasing day by day.
奥林匹克是一种生活态度。奥林匹克精神强调人通过自我锻炼、自我参与而拥有健康的体魄、乐观的精神和对美好生活的热爱与追求。

Olympic is an attitude toward life. Olympic Spirit emphasizes that people possess good health, optimistic spirit and the love and pursuit of better life through self-training and self-participation.（清晰，流畅，简洁）

奥林匹克是一种和谐，自由，健康，积极的现代伦理。奥林匹克主义所要建立的生活方式是以奋斗中体验到的乐趣、优秀榜样的教育价值和对一般伦理的基本推崇为基础的。

Olympic is a kind of harmonious, free, healthy and positive modern theory. The way of life which Olympism wants to establish is based on experiencing the fun in the struggle, the educational value of good example and the basic respected of general ethics.（简洁通顺）

奥林匹克运动是一种人类文明的共同遗产。热烈兴奋的比赛、青年志愿者的培训、体育场馆的兴建、城市规划的构思、精彩纷呈的艺术表演、覆盖全球的赛事转播与收看都成为宝贵的奥运遗产。

The Olympic movement is a common heritage of all human civilization. Warmly excited about the completion, the training of young volunteers, the construction of stadiums, the idea of urban planning, the brilliant artistic performances, the global coverage of the race broadcasting and watching all over the world, all these have become valuable Olympic heritage.

今天，奥林匹克已经成为全人类的一种共同的愿望、一种共同的期待，一种共同的祝愿。它随着时间的流逝而不断丰富，不断增添新的内涵，成为人类不断创新、不断增长的宝贵精神文化遗产

Today, Olympic has become a common aspiration, a common expectation, and a common wish. It has been continuously enriched and constantly added new connotation, which has become continuous innovation and ever-increasing valuable spiritual heritage of human beings.（Perfect）

点评：全文用词过于简单，长句时态还是不错的。

评分：76分

三十八号作品：冰心芳子

什么是奥林匹克精神的内涵？它成为全人类的文化盛会和文明遗产，它的丰富内涵和它对于人类生活的重要性正在与日俱增。

What is the connotation of the Olympic spirit? It has become the cultural pageant and civilized heritage of the whole human beings. It's richful（？） connotation &  significance for human beings has been increasing every day（day by day较能说明题意）.

奥林匹克是一种生活态度。奥林匹克精神强调人通过自我锻炼、自我参与而拥有健康的体魄、乐观的精神和对美好生活的热爱与追求。
The Olympics is a kind of life attitude. The Olimpic（？） Spirit emphasizes the people throuh self-training and self-involvement（放在句子后面为好） have good health, optimism and the spirit of a better life and the pursuit of love.

奥林匹克是一种和谐，自由，健康，积极的现代伦理。奥林匹克主义所要建立的生活方式是以奋斗中体验到的乐趣、优秀榜样的教育价值和对一般伦理的基本推崇为基础的。

based（注意篇首大写） on that we experiences joys by struggling, educates value from outstandig（？） model and canonizes the basic ethic.（怎么少内容呢？）

奥林匹克运动是一种人类文明的共同遗产。热烈兴奋的比赛、青年志愿者的培训、体育场馆的兴建、城市规划的构思、精彩纷呈的艺术表演、覆盖全球的赛事转播与收看都成为宝贵的奥运遗产。

The Olimpic（？） Games is a kind of common heritge（？） for human civilization. The exciting match, training of youth volunteers, new stadiums, design city planning, veriety（？） and wonderful art show, global coverage of the match broadcast and watch...  All of thses, have become the precious Olimpic（？）  heritage.
今天，奥林匹克已经成为全人类的一种共同的愿望、一种共同的期待，一种共同的祝愿。它随着时间的流逝而不断丰富，不断增添新的内涵，成为人类不断创新、不断增长的宝贵精神文化遗产

Today, the Olympic has become a common hope and wish for whole human beings.（是共同的祝愿期待愿望，缺少一项）It will become precious heritage of spirit civilization for humans through more abundant and meaningful by time.（少内容）

关于对二十七号作品的点评：liuqing666

1, have been increasingly improved with each passing days.（时态，原文是正在与日俱增，最好用现在进行时）

这里没有必须非得用到BEING的形式,这里我用到的句型,觉得更能表达出文章的本意.

2, but the Olympic spirit emphasizes a healthy physique, an optimistic energy or the loving and aspiring after a wonderful life,（没有转折的意思。）

这句哪里没有表现出转折的意思?

3, 下文中TO去掉就模糊了我所要表达的意思了.我要用的句型是FROM----TO, 至于后面的TO是我看马虎了.

Olympics is a common heritage of human civilization. From an ardent and excited games, training of youth postulants, the building of palaestra,the design for the city planning, the wonderful and exciting art perform, to (可以去掉)the global sporting rebroadcast and televiewing all to（如果有它了，句子就没有谓语了） become a precious heritage of Olympics.

4,Today,Olympics is one dream, one hope and one wish in the world.（最好有共同的来修饰）

至于这最后一句,我看到了其它词友写的所谓你说的共同的修饰词来形容这句话了,我感觉我这句翻译更加的简单明了,让人理解.

*翻译不见得非要用一些复杂,和少为人知的词汇来夹杂在文章之中,最重要的是要表达出文章的意境,在你反复读文章的时候能够融入在其中.以简单的话语能够翻译出生动的文字那才叫境界,分数并不重要,重要的是点评他的人能否读出它的本意来.